The Caring Counselor

My poor medicine cabinet looks like a back alley pharmacy. On a typical day, I take 8-9 medications and/or vitamins. That’s a good amount for a younger guy like me. I don’t like it. 

Following a couple of recent medical appointments, the topic arose of lowering my psych meds. At the time, I was on three of them. All to manage my depression, anxiety, and insomnia. According to my one doctor, these medications could be the culprit of my sleep issues. I met with my prescriber, who agreed to stop two of the meds right away and start the titration process for the third one.

Now, this isn’t my first rodeo with med adjustments. It’s been a while, but not long enough that I forgot the feeling. I asked my prescriber what to expect with the transition. She didn’t say anything surprising. It was the run-of-the-mill side effects of headaches, moodiness, nausea, and grogginess. That was typical for me whenever I made a change.

I’m about three days in, as I wrote this. Fuck, I’m feeling it. I haven’t slept all that well. Minor inconveniences that I can usually brush off annoy the air out of me. My motivation meter is at zero. I have no fucks left to give. All I want to do is sleep, but I can’t.

Although I feel like crap, I’m not allowing it to ruin me. You know why? Because I anticipated it. I know myself. I know my meds. I know why I’m feeling this way and not at my baseline. I have an idea of how long it will last.

Having that insight about my mental health and well-being has allowed me to take it head-on. I am not functioning at 100%. That’s for damn sure. However, I’m still functioning. Some people would get so scared with this feeling, but that’s because they don’t know why or what to expect. I learned how my body responds and took the time to understand it. I ask questions. I want to know what I’m dealing with. If I can have that knowledge, it makes coming to the resolution that much easier.