The Caring Counselor

I need organization in my life. Listen, I know that not everything is under my control, but if I can have some semblance of predictability in my everyday life, then let’s make it a goal. I mean, I live by a calendar. I seldom leave items strewn about my office or home. I often leave things out, so I know where they will be the next day. In my laptop bag, I carry different folders, and each section is designated for different purposes. I have even had coworkers comment on how extensively organized my computer files and Google Drive are.

However, there is such a thing as being too organized, especially when it comes to thoughts and feelings. Many people develop compartmentalization as a defense mechanism. For instance, if someone struggles to deal with a boss or coworker, they might suck it up while they are at work. Once they leave work, they stuff those emotions and do not address them. It causes avoidance towards the core issue. The problem will not go away. It just sits there until you go back to work.

On the other hand, if you have a crazed mind like mine that likes to ruminate into oblivion, then compartmentalizing could be beneficial. Essentially, it comes down to taking time to reflect on your thoughts and/or feelings and separating them into categories. I dealt with this recently. My thoughts around a particularly sensitive topic confused the shit out of me time and time again. Any time I tried to tackle it, I felt like new thoughts or feelings would pop up. Or I would connect it back to a previous reflection, pulling me back in that direction.

In a recent therapy session, I spoke to my therapist about this. We took time out to develop a timeline of my trauma and how it connected to said topic. Lightbulbs went off left and right about when certain habits developed or when a shift in my associated feelings took place. It genuinely helped to look at it in chronological order. It felt like we pulled apart a tangled up ball of yarn.

Now, it makes it easier to organize and describe each item separately. I can put my thoughts together and actually make sense of each individual part. Also, my therapist pointed out that even by addressing one “compartment” that I would also still indirectly be doing so with the others. Except I would be doing it with a mental and emotional barrier in place to focus in on the one area.

If done appropriately and with the intent to simply organize and not avoid the core issue, then compartmentalization can definitely slow us down. It provides us with the opportunity to look at one thing at a time and reduce bewilderment. Also, looking at one aspect at a time gives you a sense of control and probably over a feeling/thought that we felt controlled us.

Break. It. Down.

-The Caring Counselor