The Caring Counselor

Change causes anxiety- whether it is good or bad. That’s a given.

A client came into session yesterday described serious anxiety. She could not for the life of her identify exactly why she felt this way. It turned out she had just started a new job and was one week into it. When I asked her about the job, she told me that it was “everything I dreamed of” in a job. My client just left a toxic work environment where she was overworked and underappreciated. She moved into a position where she had less than half the work, had more than enough support, and could focus on her actual duties.

She kept saying, “It seems too good to be true.” My client genuinely felt like she didn’t deserve it. This was one of my more insightful, involved clients. She has only missed one weekly session in 3 years, and that was because I had COVID. She worked extremely hard on her recovery both from addiction, trauma, and PTSD. With her background, it’s easy to understand why she didn’t feel like she deserved. Her whole life pushed her down and constantly hit her with one thing after another.

When always in survival mode, it can feel weird when things go well. I related to her feeling all too well, having come from my own traumatic background. You just always expect the next bad thing to happen. Here’s the thing with that mentality: Yes, eventually something bad will happen! It is inevitable! It is part of life! With the good comes the bad and vice versa. Ultimately, this feeds a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I expected something bad to happen. Something bad happened. I knew it all along.

So no wonder my client suffered with this insecurity around her new job. In moments like this, it is important to remember to embrace both the good and bad that life has to offer. Savor the moment, and be present.

-The Caring Counselor